TWD Interviews of the Scumbags: Season 3
by PompusRompus
Summary: This is a question and answer series featuring characters from the Walking Dead seasons 1-3. You will receive your answers based on both my Scumbag series and my own scumbag playthrough (those apply for Season 1-2), pairings, and other shenanigans. With Lemons between the interview sessions
1. Chapter 1

**So how do you guys feel about coming back?**

"I was hoping to avoid coming back here," confessed Nick.

"No wonder I had to drag your ass from underneath the bed," said Lee.

"Nice PJs, dork," snickered Clementine laughing at Nick's Superman PJ's.

"H-hey!" said Nick turning red. "Lee bought me these."

"More like your mama, ya big baby!" snickered Duck as the rest of the kids laughed.

"I didn't buy you that," said Lee. "I bought you...actually I didn't buy you shit. You ain't special."

"I've been telling him for ages!" said Clementine.

"'Shut up you little...!"

 **Nick: What that mouth do?**

Nick: Excuse me?

 **Clem: I heard you and AJ drink champagne and roll doobees.**

"Excuse me?" asked Clementine confused. "What the heck are those things?"

 **Lee: What'd you do for Christmas?**

"Well I spent it in the hospital," Lee sighed. "The santa on the house knocked me out."

 **Did you get laid, Lee?**

Lee: After the break? Nah sadly.

 **Clem: How does it feel being a teenager?**

"The same as before," she shrugged. "Except I'm taller!" :D

"You only grew a few inches," said Sarah.

"Well I uh um SHUT THE HELL UP! THAT'S WHY NICK LEFT YOU!"

" _ **I**_ left _**him**_ ," She pointed out.

"Uh well um shut up!"

 **What happened to the baby? You, Sarah. You thought I forgot didn't you? Ya sneaky fuck!**

"Uh well..." Sarah blushed.

"Oh no..." Clementine looked horrified. "Sarah...WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" She began shaking the woman. "DID YOU KILL IT!?"

"WHAT?! No!"

"Then you killed yourself and..."

"Heck no! Calm down!" said Sarah rolling her eyes. "The baby's not dead and neither am I."

"Then where is Luke III?" said Clementine.

"With my dad!" said Sarah. "Geez!"

"So it was Luke's baby!" Clementine threw a book at Luke.

"OW!" He rubbed his forehead. "What the hell!"

"Nasty bastard! YOU OWE SARAH SOME CHILD SUPPORT! PAY UP!"

"Did you get louder or is it just me?"

"Uh sorry," she rubbed the back of her head. "I just ate a ton of chocolate."

"Calm down, girl."

 **I'm Batman!**

 _ **Fuck you!**_ _*turns around in chair*_ _**I'm Batman.**_

 **Can I name your baby, Sarah?**

"No," she shook her head. "I already named him."

"Lukie Pookie?" asked Clementine.

"Luke Jr?" asked Duck.

"Nutsack?" asked Gill.

" **You** don't get to talk," said Clementine glaring at Gill. "Anyways, Mountain Luke?"

"Luke Mist?" asked Duck.

"Luka Cola?"

"Cream Luka?"

"Fanta Luke?"

"Luksi?"

"Ginger Luke?"

"What the heck is with all the soda names?" asked Luke. "And all those are awful anyways."

"His name is Kaidan," said Sarah.

"Not Luke?" asked Clementine and Duck in unison.

"Yep."

"Oh."

 **How's Aj?**

"Cute as usual!" said Clementine.

 **How's your kid, Carley?**

"Fine. Tell them the new word you learned!" said Carley.

"Fuckfest!" said Kimberly.

"K-kimberly!" Carley glared at Lee.

"What!?"

"Watch your mouth around my child!"

"Oh."

" ** _Oh_**? Lee...just...fuck you."

 **Any chance of the GoT cast coming back?**

 _ **Something tells me that the GoT Cast is unavailable. There was just too many crossovers. These crossovers must stop!**_

 **Katjaa: Do you Luke think is hot?**

"Uh he's an attractive young man, I guess," she shrugged.

 **What would happen if Lilly got Katjaa pregnant?**

"I'd wonder what the heck just happened!" said Lee while some of the others nodded.

"How would Lilly...?" Then Duck gasped. "Unless Lilly's a man!"

"I can vouch that she is a woman." said Lee.

"Of course you can," Carley rolled her eyes. Anyways, if she did, pretty sure things would get uglier between her and Kenny."

 **Have you ever read a Duck/Gill fanfic before?**

 _ **No, but I'm sure it's real as sure as Sarah/Clem is real.**_

 **Do you recall any fics about Lee?**

 ** _Silentlee or something or the sort. It was a sort of Lee x Kenny fanfic where Lee is pretty much implied to have a crush on Kenny and it's stated to be a Kenny x Lee fanfic but it doesn't go too far into that pairing's territory._**

 **Kenny/Lee or Kenny/Luke?**

 ** _Kenny/Lee for sure._**

 **Sarah, what would happen if you walked in on Carley and Lilly having sex?**

"I'd wonder if someone put something in my food," said Sarah. "If not, I'd leave fast."

 **Is there any such thing as a Jane/Katjaa fluff?**

 ** _Probably. I'd read it if I found it. Just to see what it was like anyways._**

 **How would you feel if Sarah/Katjaa was canon?**

 _ **Laugh my ass off because**_ **that** _ **is a twist my friend!**_ XD

 **If you wrote a song-fic about Sarah, what song would you choose?**

 _ **Happy because that bitch is just about always happy.**_

 **Season 3 if even more lazily fucking written then Season 2 was. Seriously two and a half year they spent working on this game, with how lazy this game has been we should have gotten it like six months after season 2. 2 and half years no reason for this lazy writing, Fuck Javier he's a completely shitty character. Fuck, the game for having Clem as a secondary side character, fuck those lazy writers how couldn't get off there ass to ACTUALLY have the ending choice matter, fuck Kenny, Jane and Edith's season 3 death. Fuck the Season 3 Characters there even more bland then Season 2 characters, fuck those lazy writers who couldn't do anything to AJ and fuck them if they kill him.**

 ** _I'll say one thing. Jane's death made sense though we all know they did it because so things will be made simpler. What makes it so annoying to me is that they don't even give them the courtesy of being alive for long._**

 **Lee. If you were in season 3,you'd be 41.**

Lee: I know because I am!)

 _(Characters that are decreased in-game are the same age as if they were alive any any season that comes around in this fanfic.)_

 **To the writer can u find me afanfic about lee x clem**

._.

 **Sarah didn't seem so happy when her dad got killed. Also I thought this was cancelled? I'm glad it's not but what changed your mind?**

 ** _That's because she was overwhelmed with acting sad while one the inside she was glad the dumb fuck was gone. I'm joking. But majority of the time she is mostly cheerful. Actually compared to the other people, she's more upbeat than everyone kind of like Clementine and Duck._**

 **To Kenny (slaps Kenny) can you feel that?**

"What the hell was that for?!" exclaimed Kenny rubbing his face.

 **Sarah: How dare you call me a bitch, Kisame! At least I'm not Clementine!**

 _ **At least she's not dead. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH**_

 **Why the Hell would anyone want to see a Lee and Clementine Fic? That's creepy beyond all belief, and shows a complete misunderstanding of the relationship the two have.**

 _ **I haven't the slightest clue and agreed.**_

There are Kenny and Luke Fics out there? Huh, I did not know that.

 _ **Huh? Where?!**_

 **Carley) Are you and Lilly having sex? I wouldn't be surprised, seeing as how you could come together solely for one reason.**  
 ***Points at Lee.***

"What? Ew! NO!" said Carley. "And that would never happen!"

 **Nick) Who got you those Superman PJs? Was it your mistress?  
**

Nick: Uuuuuuuh.

Clem: I bet he got them himself.

 **Luke) How is it, still being the dickless wonder?**

"I don't know. How's it feel being a spineless prick?" asked Luke.

 **Luke has a secret peephole.**  
 **Everyone: WHAT THE FUCK?!**  
 **Yep! He takes naked pictures of all of you, jacks off to them, then he eats hot dogs, and sells them on the Bikini Bottom Black Market!**

"How much money are we talking?" asked Lee.

"Lee!" said Carley. "He's taking pictures of people naked!"

"That's a damn lie!" shouted Luke.

Sarah) How in the Hell would you know Luke's name is Kaidan? Wait... OOOOOOHHHHH...

Sarah: That's his real name?

Clem: What else are you hiding?

 **Luke) Kaidan? KAIDAN! HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA HA HA HA HA!**

Luke: I don't know what you're talking about. ._.

 **Drama? Since when?**

I don't know. You tell me.

 **Lee) Are you a Scumbag? For real, this time?**

"What the hell do you mean 'for real'?" said a confused Lee.

 **Who here finds it pretty weird that Clem is swearing nonstop in Season 3?**

 _ **Not me. She swears some in season 3 so that whole "don't swear!" thing means nothing.**_

Luke: Not surprised.

 **Here, Lee. This is for your amputated arm in Season 1.**  
 ***Enter hands him a briefcase. When Lee opens it, his eyes widen. He takes it out. It's a prosthetic arm that has the ability to generate a purple lightsaber from the knuckles.***

Duck: Cool!

Carley: Why do I suddenly fear for my life right now?

 **Season Three made me do something I thought I would never do: hate Kenny's beard.**

 ** _I saw it. EW._**

 **Who here has some form of social media?**

"All of us really," said Clementine.

 **Lee: So, now that I have this arm, I'm allowed to do this?**  
 ***Slices Nick's leg off with the built-in lightsaber.***

Nick howled in pain holding his leg. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"Just seeing if it worked," said Lee.

 ***Clementine comes back into the room, looking furious.***  
 **Clementine: Who ate my sandwich?!**  
 **Lee: Not me!**  
 **Duck: Gross.**  
 **Nick: I wouldn't touch anything that you eat.**  
 **Clementine: Well, somebody had to have eaten it! Otherwise, I must have eaten it and forgotten about it.**  
 **Javier: Actually, I ate your sandwich.**  
 **Clementine: WHAT?**  
 **Javier: It was in the fridge, there was no note, I was hungry, so, I ate most of it.**  
 **Clementine: MOST OF IT?!**  
 **Javier: Well, I got full pretty quickly, so I threw what was left away.**  
 **Clementine: EXCUSE ME?!**  
 **Javier: It was large! I couldn't eat all of it!**  
 **Clementine: You, you threw my sandwich away?!**  
 **Clementine: MY SANDWICH?**  
 **Clementine (Satan voice): MY SANDWICH?!**

"You should have left a..." Javier was cut off by Clementine punching him in the throat.

"HOW DARE YOU!?" shouted Clementine. "THAT WAS MINE AND YOUR DUMB ASS ATE IT!"

"Calm down! It was just a sandwich!"

"Yeah! MINE!" said Clementine. "I can't believe you! I'll get you back! I promise!"

 **So Sarah do you think Luke Jr. Will be friends with Kimberly?**

"Probably," she shrugged.

 **Clementine) So, how is it? You know, being back in Misty's spotlight?**

Clem: Horrible because of Javier the sandwich stealer!

 **To the St. John's just out of curiosity the cannibalism thing were you always like that or did you just decide to do that once the zombies showed up?**

Brenda: Once the zombies started. With what little food was around may as well.

 **Well isn't this a nice surprise.**

 ***Pinches Nick and gives Javi a rock named Dave***

 **If I see you lose this rock I will fucking end you**

Javier: A rock. What am I going to do with a rock?

 **Come on! Javi's already in a lot of trouble! He's got a black eye from the time he stole Clem's sandwich! And Nick is missing a leg!**

Clem: Damn right he does! Sandwich eater!

 **to mistyxkiasame and season 1 cast how much better do you think season 1 would be if instead of Kenny you had Jack Sparrow!**

 ** _Of course it would be better._**

Clem: Who?

Lee: But does he have an awesome beard?

Duck: Yeah. :D

 **Here. Lilly whipped up a meal for you guys. It's Vegan Pie with Tofu Moist-Maker Sandwiches. I already tried both. They're excellent!**

Lee: If her cooking wasn't good 5 years ago, it ain't good now!

Javier: It can't be that bad. *takes a bite and faints*

Clem: I'm not eating that.

 **Clementine) Doobee is just another word for marijuana.**

Clem: Ah.

 **Which kid here is the most likely to grow up and become a psychopath?**

Clem: Deez nutz!

Duck: Got 'em!

 **Kenny) I overheard Lilly and Carley saying something about you being a sex symbol. Well, specifically, your beard is the sex symbol. How does this make you feel?**

Kenny stroked his beard. "Yes. Very much so."

"Don't get such a big head, asshole," Lee narrowed his eyes at Kenny.

"Are you really saying that?" Carley raised a brow at Lee.

"Duh, Carley."

 **Anyone who knew what the 'my sandwich' joke was in reference to is a culturally fluent genius.**

Lee: Just about everyone here is an uncultured swine. Except me of course. I got it.

Carley: Bullshit, Lee.

 **I just learned that Doug is the inventor of Facebook, and that he has a mansion, a rocket ship, a Harley, and more pussy than anyone can even dream of.**

Lee: SINCE WHEN?!

 **I need a Jane X Clem fanfic... I ship them too much.**

._. I don't.

 **Jane x Clem? Isn't Jane an adult? I'm pretty sure that that's ethically wrong. Then again, it is the apocalypse, and there are no laws. I mean, there are no cops around, like Jane said. Okay, there's Rick Grimes, but I'm pretty sure they'll never run into him.**

The same applies to Cluke, but lot of people ship that shit too and age her up. Again I only see sibling relationship between the 2 (aka Luke and Clem & Clem and Jane).

 **Hey do you guys think that maybe David is power crazy and might try to kill off Javi and Clem. Just a thought, but by the way he controls the New Frontier I'm thinking things might get a little hectic.**

Clem: I'm also power hunger too. If he kills Javier, nobody'll miss him.

Javier: Brat.

Clem: Ugly!

 **I think that Lee would be top dog of the prison he was going to, had the apocalypse not started.**

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

Lee: What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. You're no Randal.

Lee: Who?

 **Lee/ how's Mira? Have you seen or talked to her lately?**

"Nope haven't seen her," said Lee. "I don't even know where she is."

 ** _Probably getting married._**

"What?!"

 ***Guest gives a cigarette to Clementine.***  
 **Guest: Here. You know what to do with this.**  
 ***Clementine pulls up Javi's sleeve, and stubs the cigarette onto his arm.***  
 **Javi: FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKK!**  
 **Guest: That's not what I wanted you to use it for!**

"He ate my sandwich!" snapped Clementine.

 **Luke and Nick, since Javi's new here, that means that you are no longer Clementine's punching bags. Javi is.  
*Luke and Nick begin cheering.*  
Don't start cheering, yet. Just because you aren't Clem's punching bags doesn't mean you still aren't punching bags. I'm still trying to decide who's punching bags you're going to be, next.**

"It was good for the few seconds," sighed Luke.

 **On my play through of season 3 Kenny was like Michael Jackson and Mariana was Farrah Fawcett, both died on same day/episode but no one gave a shit about Mariana. Seriously look it up she was a famous actress but Michael Jackson died the same day so no one gave a shit about her.**

 _ **Wow. I didn't know that. Also I've seen a lot of people pick Jane over Kenny so we don't know what happen to him by watching someone else's playthrough. Speaking of which, I'm willing to bet Kenny's dead or never coming back if you went off with into Wellington.**_

 _ **Anyways, yeah that's really sad.**_

 **Nick is like Jumanji 2, extremely pointless and unnecessary and no one wanted it. Seriously Why the fuck are they make a sequel to Jumanji**

 _ **A sequel to...HOOOOOOLLYWOOOOOD!**_

 **Lee) Who would make the best slave here?**

"Uuuuuuuuh probably Ben but he might even fuck that up," admitted Lee.

 **Season 2 was like the Star wars prequels, and Clem and Kenny were the clone wars cartoon the only good thing that came from it.**

 _ **True.**_

 **Season 3 is like Wonder Woman, were all hoping and praying its going to be good.**

 _ **It better be. Fuck that sex appeal shit that they may do. I want some action and adventure! And no forced romance. I hate that shit. *coughJaneandLuke***_

 **Season Two was good, overall. Not better than Season One, and it certainly fucked up Kenny's character as well as the new characters, but Clementine went through a great arc, and, come on, Episode 2 and Episode 5 are some of the best the series has had, in my opinion. Not perfect, but still good.**

 _ **Kenny felt like the same character from season 1 and he went through some of the same shit except when he lost Sarita he just forgets about her. I can't really say which were the best except the reuniting of Kenn the ONLY character from season 1 we see again that is in majority of the season. Sure they could have brought back Lilly, Molly, or even bring Christa back, but nope.**_

 **Misty) What is your least favorite episode of the twelve episodes of The Walking Dead games thus far?**

 _ **All of the first season's episodes were good so none there though it was a little slow. But I'll forgive it for the fact that it's to introduce the characters. For season two probably the last one because of a few reasons. Bonnie's stupid ass for blaming me for Luke's death even though she broke the ice, the fact that we can't kill Arvo, Bonnie, and Mike and probably never will.**_

 **Misty) Do you really think that Sarah is a bitch?**

 _ **Nah.**_

 **Lee) How's that new arm?**

Lee: Good thanks!

 **Kisame) Sarah may be dead, but Clementine could die this season as well. Keep in mind, the day will come when you won't be. And that applies to everyone, including Clem.**

 _ **BULLSHIT! I doubt they'll kill off Clementine. If anything, she'll be more likely to end up being like Molly: never to be seen in the game again. She's one of the most loved characters in the game and people will get pissed if she dies. I've seen people say the won't buy anymore TTG games anymore or another season of TWD, but I'm sure half of those people are lying.**_

 **Clementine) Are you gonna take Javier to court for taking your sandwich? I wouldn't because, I mean, come on, it's just a sandwich! A very, very, big, meaty sandwich with gravy soaked bread and... you know what, take that motherfucker's ass to court!**

"Hell yeah!" shouted Clementine shaking her fist. "That sandwich was worth more than him!"

 _ **You do realize that Javier was a professional baseball player before the zombie right?**_

"Oh! Then the bastard can afford another one!" said Clementine.

 **Clementine is the most badass character, tied only with Lee.**

 **Yep**

 **Kenny) How do you like your design in Season Three? I think it looks absolutely horrible. You look like a grizzled pirate after smoking too many cigarettes. I mean, in Season Two, at least you looked similar to what you looked like in Season One. Without the hat, beard, or voice, I wouldn't recognize you. Also, what was up with your death? If I saved you at the end of Season Two, that basically means nothing because you still died! What the fuck?**

"I think I look okay," said Kenny.

"No you don't dad," said Duck. "Don't lie to yourself."

 _ **Both Jane and Kenny look hideous. Jane looks a little fat in the face and much older and different. Put her in different clothes and give her a different voice actress and you won't even know who she was. I guess it doesn't matter too much since they're not in the game long thus meaning we don't have to look at them long.**_

 **Clementine) How do you feel about people comparing and/or shipping you with Ellie, from Naughty Dog's The Last of Us?**

Clementine: I don't know who that is so I can't say anything except I'm original. Don't compare me to some bitch.

 **I saw, Mariana and Kenny Season 3 deaths like a mile a way wasn't shocked at all, like with Han Solo's death totally saw it coming. Oh if I spoiled it then fuck you the movie came out over a year ago, and it was a total fucking rip off A New Hope. Episode 8 better no be a rip off of Empire.**

 ** _Everyone did with Kenny's. They were just hoping he went out like a boss. I mean at least he didn't die like a bitch._**

 **Season 3 is as lazy as a Adam Sandler movie, but were the idiots that keep buying it.**

 _ **People would buy it even if they killed off Clementine or had her missing from the game. I'm glad I didn't buy it. It sounds uninteresting. I can't wait for another season of GoT. I'm buying that.**_

 **The Cabin Group were like Rogue One They all died and there were all fucking boring, well accept that robot and that blind guy.**

 _ **Luke, Sarah, and Alvin were alright.**_

 **To guest rouge one was a good movie and quit complaining so Disney owns Star Wars big whoop get over it people!**

 ** _Next DC then CARTOON NETWORK AND NICK! Mwahahahahaha! I'm joking. I actually don't care._**

 **So, when Creed came out last year and had nearly the exact same story as Rocky, nobody complained. But when Star Wars does it, it's an atrocity against man. Hypocrisy, much?**

 _ **I saw that movie. I thought it was good. Then again I didn't see the original Rocky so...Anyways, people just have different opinions on stuff. Maybe people thought Creed did it better? I dunno.**_

 **Weird questions but since everyone is commenting about Star Wars, which do you like better the Clone war or Rebel's cartoon.**

 _ **I've seen a little of Clone Wars. It was good. Dunno about the other one.**_

 **I feel having choices between helping Clementine or helping Javier's family wasn't a good choice. Like everyone will help Clem, but its unrealistic like in Javier P.O.V Clem is basically a total stranger and there's his family and he help the stranger first. I like the season but its just everyone will trust Clem but in Javie she a stranger he wouldn't be so trusting.**

 **Example if Tripp or Eleanor was the member of The New Frontier more people might have agreed with Conrad. If they killed Eli and acted like a dick to you earlier like Clem did, people might not have backed them up.**

 _ **True. In the player's POV, Clementine's a fan favorite and so people will have her back. Through Javier it doesn't make any sense.**_

Who is more useless: Ben, or Nick?

 _ **Honestly Nick because Nick pretty much stopped doing anything after episode 2. And when I say that notice how very little dialogue everyone else gets compared to him and he doesn't do shit. Sure there's that thing with Nick and Walter, but that's minor and still very little compared to the rest.**_

 **Clementine: My money's on Nick. At least Ben has that big, beautiful cock!**

Clem: Yes Nick is useless and ew! Gross!

Hey, Lee, do you think Mira's still pissed about you fucking Carley?

"Yeah I'm pretty sure," said Lee.

 **Clementine vs Telltale's Batman. Who wins, and why?**

 _ **Batman because DUH Clementine may be a badass, but Batman beat hers out in any incarnation.**_

Clem: You're biased!

 _ **So you can beat him up?**_

Clem: *grumbles* No

 _ **That's what I thought.**_

 **THE BABY THAT JANE WAS GONNA HAVE WAS LUKE'S!**  
 **Nick: Don't you mean to say-**  
 **SHUT UP, LEGLESS!**  
 ***Pulls out gun and shoots Nick in the amputated leg.***  
 **Nick: OH, SWEEEEEET GOAT HUKIE!**

 _ **Well it could have been Troy's. Weren't they fucking too? Thought**_ they _**have been using protection.**_

 ***Javi turns off the shower. He gets out, gets dressed, and opens the door to the hallway. He then sees Clementine, armed with an AR-15, and a crowbar. She proceeds to slam the crowbar into Javi's stomach, then, she rams it into his face. He falls to the floor. She turns him over, and shoots at his legs and hands. She then turns him over again, and hits him in the back with the tip of the gun. She then slams the crowbar against his head. And finally, she drags him to the toilet, which has some piss in it, forces his head in, and flushes the toilet. When the flushing stops, he takes his wet, blood-soaked head out, and wipes his eyes.***  
 **Javi: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!**  
 **Clementine: You stole, ate, threw away, and shat out my sandwich. Now, we're even, bi-atch!**

"You're crazy!" shouted Javier.

 ***Lee goes into the bathroom, and sees Javi, washing blood, hair, water, and piss off of his face.***  
 **Lee: YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUGG OUT, MAN!**

"Fuck off!" snapped Javier.

 **Sarah) What kind of a name is Kaidan?**

Sarah: I thought it was a good name.

 **Kenny) Let's play a game of 'Fuck, Marry, Kill'. Here are your choices: Lee, Ben, or Larry.**

Kenny: How about you let me kill myself instead.

 **why did they have to kill Mariana I liked her why not kill the Carley rip off Kate instead!**

 _ **Because Plot or something I dunno. Maybe they wanna go ahead and get that "kill" counter up they have for characters.**_

 **Carley: Lee, do you remember anything about our relationship?**  
 **Lee: Um, sure I do! I remember lots of stuff!**  
 ***In his head, he's picturing him and Carley skipping along a grassy land, with her saying "OMIGOD, UR LIKE, SUCH A STUD!" As he says "YEA, TOTES".***

Carley: Like what?

Lee: Uuh. Nothing I care to talk about.

 **These games should just be called 'The Walking Dead: Killing Off Your Favorite Characters Before You Get Too Attached To Them'.**

 ** _Pretty much._**

 **Lee's most desired sexual fantasy is to have any woman dance for him, while dressed in the gold bikini Princess Leia wore in Return of the Jedi.**

Lee: That could be pretty sweet.

 **They keep Kate (Carley 2.0) around for a stupid love triangle. Javier, David and Kate as well as Javier, Kate and Eleanor.**

 ** _You don't have to worry about that. They'll get rid of one of them in the game sooner or later._**

 **Nice having another character around with plot armor.**

 **Who Clementine?**

Does anyone think AJ alive and he will shown up in present time.

I dunno. Where is he? According to the wiki, he hasn't shown up yet.

 **Yes, like Michonne, Pete, Siddiq, Hershel and Glenn, nothing can happen to Paul Jesus Monroe being a comic/tv character. He can't died or be seriously hurt because of Canon, Shawn was the only comic character to died was to explain how he died. Still I'm am happy because he is one of my favorite character, so happy they gave him his fighting skills, the show didn't explore how awesome of a fighter he is.**

 ** _What are you talking about? Glenn's fucking dead._**

 **Who's scarier: Negan, or the Joker from The Dark Knight? My money's on The Joker. The guy scared the shit out of me.**

 _ **Joker. I mean it's scary how he can walk around and do shit and nobody has taken that bastard out yet!**_

 **Misty) If you could save one, who would you save: Clementine, or AJ? Also, if Telltale makes that a choice, I'm gonna be pissed.**

 _ **Majority would save Clem for sure. If it was, AJ because I know Clementine would sacrifice herself for people she loves and cares about. If they make this a thing, I guarantee you the choice won't matter because somehow Clementine will still live and so will AJ and Clem will be pissed you picked her instead of AJ.**_

 **Its seems like there forcing relationship again in the game, like Clem just met Javier a day ago and tell him she was with the new frontier, act like Javier betray her like dude you only knew him like a day and its like fuck you traitor. Just like the cabin group are dicks then a day later act like good friends to you. Season 1, Friendship, trust was something you needed to earn.**

 _ **True. That's why I liked Season 1 better. Shit made sense. How fast the Cabin Group and Clementine form a friendship in season 2 was weird with some characters like Rebecca. You would think there would be more mistrust between them and take longer to form a friendship, but they become allies/friends fast. Sarah, Pete and Alvin's friendship with her was the only ones that made some sense.**_

 **What I've realized is that the writing for the games has gotten lazier. Actually, the whole reason for the bad writing in Seasons Two and Three is because the writers for Season One left Telltale before production of the second game began.**

 _ **Make too much sense.**_

 _ **Lee) Do you have a wallet that says 'bad motherfucker' on it?**_

Lee: Heh heh. Maybe.

 **I was reading something about Walking dead, and there going to turn down the violence on the show because some pus- I mean bab- I mean fucking assholes had to fucking bitch about the gory and violence so the producers are going to lower the gory. Are you kidding me assholes, This is Walking Dead.**

 _ **What a bunch of idiots. If they don't like that kind of shit, why not stop watching it if you don't like. Its a show about zombies. It's going to be gory and violent. It's like making the movie 300 pg or making a war documentary saying nobody died. It makes no fucking sense.**_

Clem: how do you feel about Clem X Duck? i personally ship it

Clem: I used to like Duck until I had to beat his ass!

 **I have a video of Lee singing a song. Who wants to see?**  
 **Everyone: Me!**  
 ***Guest takes out phone, shows them a video of Lee singing 'Ayssntittays', by Angry Joe. Everyone but Clem and Duck is disgusted.***  
 **So, what do you guys think?!**

Carley: What do you think!? Stupid pervert.

Kenny: One thing's for sure, he can't sing.

Lee: Hey!

 _ **One thing's for sure. That's song's fire!**_

 **Does anyone think that there is a person in the apocalypse who could survive it without killing anyone, including walkers?**

 _ **A ghost.**_

 **Probably if that person had a private island**

 ** _Maybe. If that person didn't have anybody with them I guess._**

 **I wish AJ was with Clem in Season 3, they could have Clem carrying AJ in a backpack or something. Hoping he's alive. I don't think there dark enough to kill a baby, I hope that AJ will have something to do with the story.**

 _ **I don't know where the hell he is. He's not old enough to be left alone unless someone's keeping him. I'm hoping for Lilly or Molly being the one watching him for Clementine. It'd be nice to see at least one of them.**_

 **Remember how I said I tried Lilly's cooking? I lied. She just threatened me at gunpoint and told me to say that.**

Lee: Of course she would. Nobody sane would eat anything she made.

 **Lilly) Is there anything you can cook?**

Lilly: I can cook stuff!

Lee: Name one!

Lilly: Toast.

Lee: HA!

 **Clementine: stupid Javier and his stupid sandwich stealing (opens door)AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**  
 **(everyone runs over and sees Carver and Troy in bed together)**

 **Carver:WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE OUR LOVE!?**

 **Clementine:I think..I'm gonna hurl! (barfs on Carley's shoes)**

Lee walked into the room. "What's with all the...AH! Ew gross!"

 **Whoa! I did not know that Croy was a thing! Carver, Troy, how's your relationship?**

Troy and Carver: None of your business.

 _ **I didn't either. Now Reggie and Carver I could see because of Reggie being a little ass kisser and Carver would totally take advantage of that.**_

 **Rebecca) Alvin likes to jack off to Japanese Comics. I once saw him in the bathroom, because I installed cameras in there.**

Rebecca: You mean the ones with the big breasted women!?

 **Yep.**

Rebecca: Alvin you bastard! I thought I made you throw those away!

Alvin: I did!

Duck: No he didn't! Look!

Duck held up a fan made manga with Tsunade in skimpy clothes and Mei in a skimpy bikini. Rebecca grabbed her husband by the ear and practically dragged him away.

 **Clem) Are you homophobic? Because, if that's the case, then that explains why you puked when you learned about Carver and Troy's relationship.**

Clem: No I'm not. I just think that the two of them being together is gross!

 **To the author: How often will you update this?**

When I'm not busy.

 **Why are people shocked about the Season 3 flashback this is Telltale nothing matters. Like i know Kenny and Jane were not going to matter at all. Maybe if Season 1 writers were back maybe it would have a slightly more of a impacted. But everyone should have seen that this wasn't going to matter at all.**

 ** _You're right. Still gonna be pissed about it. They better not mess up GoT's though, but I know they'll fuck that up somehow._**

 **The Jane ending proved Kenny was right about Jane only thinking and caring about herself.**

 _ **Yes she was. She left Clementine alone without even telling her what the hell was going on with her. While you could say that maybe Clem was going to stop her, we all know how Jane is. She does whatever the fuck she wants. Plus she didn't have to fucking die at the end of season 2. It's like Jane wanted to die because she knows how protective Kenny is with AJ.**_

 **A determinant character is like the Dark Art professor in Harry Potter your basically fucked.**

 _ **Pretty much...with Lupin as the exception. He does die at the end of the series, but he lasts a good while then the folks who got it though so I'll give him that. Now that I think about it, that one guy is still alive. I forget his name though. He was the one everyone was drooling over until he got sent to the wizard hospital for losing his memory. So Molly and Lilly are pretty much him except where he's sen again, they aren't.**_

 **What about Kenny? He was determinant, and he turned out alive in Season Two.**

 _ **Then that makes him Lupin for the sole fact of what I said above this. He lasts a good while before getting killed off.**_

 **To misty who is abetter fighter and better portagnest lee , rick ,javier**

 _ **I don't know about fighter, but as for protagonist Rick for sure.**_

 **Lee vs TV Rick. Who wins? My money's on Lee, because that bastard can do anything.**

 _ **Except not get bit. OOOOOOOOOOOOOH! But in all seriousness, maybe Lee.**_

 **I don't understand why everyone is so pissed about season 3 because people should give it time to develop before judging it**

 _ **Because everyone has different reasons for disliking the season so far, I can't speak for everyone. Maybe it'll get better, but so far a lot of people say it's shit.**_

 **Quirrell - Dies.**  
 **Lockhart - losing his mind.**  
 **Lupin - quits, later dies.**  
 **Mad eye (really Crouch jr) - losing his soul.**  
 **Umbridge - fired,**  
 **Snape - because the headmaster, later dies.**  
 **Carrow - Go to jail.**  
 **So 4 out of 7 died.**

 _ **Don't correct me, smart ass! I'm joking. You're right and thanks for catching that. I forgot about all of those extra ones or just assumed they died. I could have sworn Carrow got killed off too, but whatever. Carrow doesn't count anyways since the class was changed when Snape taught. Anyways so what I should say is that out of all the killed off Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers, Kenny was the Lupin of TWD instead.**_

 **I know Glenn's dead but in the episode where Glenn appear in the game he Can't get hurt or killed.**

 ** _Nope. It's the same with GoT where even though players want Ramsey Snow to get killed off, they can't do anything since he was alive still at that point unless TT let's us do it which I highly doubt will happen._**

 **I haven't played Season Three yet. I'm excited to, though! I love the first season, and I enjoyed the second, and from what I've seen in walkthroughs, the game looks good. So, I'll give it a whirl!**

 _ **If you want to, go ahead.**_

 **People are mainly pissed because the Season 2 ending didn't matter, Clementine is only playable in flashback.**

 _ **Pretty much.**_

 **Kenny lives through Season 1 so he wasn't determinant, he became determinant at the end of Season 2.**

 _ **I thought he going to be determinant in season 1, but he still comes along for the ride no matter how he departs from the group.**_

 **Wyatt, Eddie, Kate and Javier would be in Hufflepuff, became isn't that the house that really into "plants".**

._. HA!

 **Clem) Trust me. Ellie's no bitch. She got bitten by a zombie and didn't die, or show any signs of infection, she saved a man who was impaled, and she hacked a cannibal to death with a machete. I actually think you two would work well together.**

"Yeah no," said Clementine. "I roll on my own. Besides, I dragged Lee through the streets when much smaller than him."

 **Rebecca) I'm surprised that you're angrier about Alvin masturbating than the fact that there's cameras in the bathroom.**

"Of course I'm more mad about that!" raged Rebecca. "It means he prefers those fakes over me!"

"And you preferred Carver over him," pointed out Lee. "If I wasn't getting laid, I'd be looking for a way to bust a nut too. Granted it wouldn't be with fake anime babes, but if he doesn't want to get caught it's the next best thing."

"Excuses!"

 **Guest: Lee, here's a magic lamp. It grants you three wishes. You can make them now if you want, or you can use them later. What's your choice?**  
 **Lee: Now!**  
 ***He begins rubbing the lamp.***  
 **Lee: I wish that all of the ladies here would have that sexy Princess Leia bikini on, free porn for the rest of my life, and Larry's ass to be paralyzed!**

Carley: Lee, you fucker!

Duck: My eyes! Put some clothes on mom!

Lilly: What the fuck, Lee?!

Lee: What? You look good.

Lilly: I'm talking about my dad!

Lee: He looks hideous.

 **I hope they add extra episodes to TWD Season 3 like they did like Minecraft Story Mode.**

 ** _I think they did that because it was a one time thing though I could be wrong. GoT got an extra episode so maybe it'll have more episodes._**

 **Lee) I think Lilly's more pissed about you crippling her Dad.**

Lee: He'll live.

 **Negan "Telltale basically put there dicks down are throats and we pay them for it"**

 ** _Shit. I guess that applies to me since I'm getting GoT season 2 and WAU because they have more interesting characters than TWD._**

 **If you didn't know you can kill Bonnie, to kill her you need to cover Luke and do not break the ice. Bonnie will drown with Luke.**

 ** _I mentioned it in the other TWD Interviews. At least you can kill her off._**

 **Gill you two-face double crossing piece of shit, you stole supplies from Clementine.**

Gill: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!

Clem: You're a jerk!

 _ **To be fair Jane and Clem were fools for letting the bastards in.**_

 **Negan) Where the Hell did you come from? I thought you were a cat!**

 _ **He was!**_

 ***Suddenly, Kenny gets stabbed in the arm, with a syringe containing a bluish-gray substance.***  
 **Kenny: Aw, no!**

 ** _Oooooooooh! I don't get it._**

 **Alvin) How long have you liked Japanese porno comics?**

Alvin: Well uh a little before the walkers.

 **I have footage of Carver cheating on Troy with Reggie's virgin ass!**  
 **Troy: BILL! How could you? I thought what we had was special!**

Carver: He does shit you won't.

Clem: Please don't say what. I'm begging you!

Carver: I wasn't anyways.

 **Luke and Nick) I have come to a decision! You both will be my punching bags! Welcome to a brand new beginning, you sorry shits!**

Luke: How the heck do I get outta here?!

Nick: I dunno, but I'll find a way!

 **Uh, guys, somebody here is pregnant.**  
 **Everyone: WHAT?!**  
 **I found this in the bathroom.**  
 ***Guest pulls out a pregnancy test. It's pink.***  
 **Clementine: Holy fucking fuck.**

 _ **Damn it! Stop knocking each other up!**_

 **Guys! I know how we can find out who's pregnant! Here, let's check the cameras I installed in the bathroom!**  
 ***Everyone follows the guest to a computer. After turning it on, the guest begins to rewind, for quite a while.***  
 **Here we are!**  
 ***Plays the footage. However, instead of showing someone taking a pregnancy test, it shows Alvin aggressively masturbating to a hentai.***

Everyone: TURN THAT SHIT OFF!

Rebecca: Alvin, you nasty fucker! Hand all of those over!

Lee: Is that tentacle porn?

Alvin: Shut up!

 **Okay! I think I know who it was!**  
 ***Guest plays footage on the computer. The gang sees Lilly peeing onto a pregnancy stick.***  
 **Larry: Lilly?! What the flying fuckity fuck?**  
 **Nick: Sweet goat hukie!**  
 **Shut up! Only Luke can say that!**  
 ***Guest pistol whips Nick. After Nick spits out some blood (and a tooth), Guest pushes Nick's wheelchair out of a window, letting him fall 30 stories to his death.***

Lee: It ain't mine! I swear!

 **So, Lilly, who's the other parent?**

Lilly: I'd rather not say.

 **Kenny) Lee can sing! Here, watch. Lee, sing the song Black Sheep!**  
 ***Lee sings it, perfectly.***  
 **Clementine: What a lovely voice.**

Kenny: Sounds off key.

Duck: You can't sing yourself. Stop hating.

 **Nick) As your new master, I command you to put on a Hawaiian grass outfit, while dancing like a monkey and screaming like a walrus!**

Nick: Okay, but I'm keeping my shirt on.

Nick looks like a fool while doing this and instead of sounding like a walrus, he sounds like a dying whale.

Clem: Put a sock in it!

Carley: My ears hurt! STOP!

Lee: Geez Nick. The lung on you that you never let me hear.

L **uke, As your new master, I command you to clean out a series of your son's shits from the bathtub with this fish net.**  
 **Luke: I ain't doing that.**  
 **You have to. For two reasons: one, you're my bitch. Two, it's the law.**

Luke: I need to get outta here.

 **If there was a save Clementine or AJ choice it wouldn't matter became they will both died. The one you save will died later regardless.**

 _ **That's the way TT usually works.**_

 **Misty, you think Rick is a better protagonist than Lee? At least Lee didn't get two people in his group killed by some maniac with a baseball bat!**  
 **Negan: Hey!**  
 **Sorry.**

 _ **Yeah I do.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**To MistyxKisame, do you ship Clem and Gabe?**

 ** _No. I don't ship her with anyone._**

 **just out of curiosity why is this rated M now?**

 _ **Lemons that I said I would do. Pairings: Nick x Lee, Carley x Lee, Mike x Bonnie, Lee x Lilly, Kenny x Jane...and that's pretty much it.**_

 **Please don't tell me that this is rated M because of lemons.**

 _ **Yep.**_

 **You know I noticed something in the scene in season two where Rebecca yells at Alvin for getting soft it reminds me a lot of Madame medusa and mr snoops from the Disney movie the rescuers both Rebecca and medusa are mean and call their fat person soft and Alvin and snoops both are fat and wear yellow maybe it's a reference!**

 ** _I'm pretty sure it was just a coincedence._**


	3. Chapter 3

**Clem, tell us who you ship yourself with**

Clem: Well I used to like Nick...but then I dropped that mother fucker. So nobody I guess.

Nick: We were never even together!

Clem: I know and I'm glad. Maybe Duck if he isn't a jerk again!

 **I already asked S1 crew this so I'll ask S2 crew the same! Coffee or tea? And how do you take it? (Javi can also answer)**

Javier: I'd have to say coffee.

Luke: Tea.

Nick: Neither really.

Pete: Coffee

Rebecca: Tea

Alvin: Coffee

Bonnie: Tea as long as it's not warm.

 **No, Sarah isn't a man! Girls can have sex with other girls! I'm saying that she used her tongue, not a dick!**

Gill: Well why the heck is she a possibility as the other parent then!?

Duck: I think they meant Luke's the father.

 **Author) Did you ever expect these stories to be as big and popular as they have come to be? I didn't!**

 _ **Nope.**_

 **When I said I didn't expect these stories to be as big and popular as they are, I wasn't saying I don't like them! I just never expected them to get so big!**

 _ **I know.**_

 **Servants, come hither!**  
 ***Luke and Nick come forward.***  
 **Nicholas, would you please bring me my copy of Dawn of The Planet of The Apes? And Lucas, will you get me some hot chocolate? Do all this, and you will both have the weekend off!**

Nick and Luke do as they're told and run off in celebration.

 **Kenny, I asked you if you're a sucker for pain. Have you never heard that song, before?**

Kenny: Nope.

 **I would have to agree, the show ruined Negan's character. The comic version is way better.**

 ** _It happens._**

 **Does anyone here think that Lee is a sex addict?**

Everyone: Yep.

 **Sirius Black kind of deserved Azkaban, as he attempted to murder Snape when there were kids, by tricking Snape where Lupin was when we was a werewolf. Almost getting Snape killed.**

 **But, I guess attempted murder isn't a crime, because date rape is okay love potion is date rape is okay.**

 _ **As true as it is, it's over looked because Sirius is a good guy! :D Yeah stuff like that gets glossed over in the books, although you could say he did get what was coming to him since he was in Azkaban and then Snape got to mentally laugh at him because he couldn't go outside like him. You could especially say he got it when he died in book 5.**_

 **well in that case Lee I hear he's in the next town over want me to drag him here?**

Lee: That's okay. I'll go over there and beat the shit outta him before Clementine sees.

Clem: I'm right here. Who are you talking about?

 **Alvin) Here. I got you those porno magazines you wanted. Just go into the bathroom, block the cameras in the cabinet, the sink, the toilet, and the shower, and enjoy yourself!**

Alvin: Yes! *runs off to the bathroom*

 **Why is everyone here talking about Harry Potter?**

 _ **Someone had something about what houses everyone would probably be in if they went to Hogwarts**_

 **Lee, whip it out!**  
 **Lee: Okay!**  
 ***Lee rips off all of his clothes, revealing... a censor bar.***  
 **Kenny: Damn it! I wanted to see it!**  
 **Jane: WHAAAT?**

Carley: Put your clothes on, fool!


End file.
